What we often call “laid back” or “go with the flow” attitudes have less to do with personality than a foundation of emotional strength. Let’s face it, life will deal each of us some adversity. How we best ride those waves measures our character and our inner mettel. Here are a few proven methods to master your resilience.
Strong people get out of their heads by pushing a pen across the page. Adopt this practice daily, or at the very least, weekly. We move forward when we release the past and the act of putting it down on paper helps complete that process.
When we sit in silence, we participate one of the most ancient forms of healing and strength training. Practiced use of breath to become present and release emotion develops the skill to access calm and control. We habituate a “pause” when agitated. Meditate daily.
Resilient people have a wide and deep reservoir of self-care disciplines. Care for ourselves instills compassion. Without self-compassion, we cannot offer that to others. True strength is compassionate. True compassion is strength.
4. Know Your Boundaries
Masters of resilience recognize where they stop and someone else begins. They are not intrusive. They know they’re not here to fix someone else, rather, they maintain their own counsel and boundaries with poise and humility.
We forgive to remain free, clear, creative and vibrant. We forgive as an act of letting go, and because it IS the higher road. We forgive because we recognize we’re more alike than different, and we’ll no doubt need the same grace. We forgive because our life may depend on it.
6. Cultivate Curiosity
Strong people are curious. They are open to limitless possibilities. This enables them to be flexible, tolerant and open to receiving help. Curiosity neutralizes arrogance.
7. Police the Input
When we’re emotionally solid, we use filters. We’re mindful of what gets into our head, what we watch, listen to, and who infiltrates our time. You know you’re influenced, so choose the good stuff. Life will deliver that random awful event. Fortify your personal fuel with high test.
8. Welcome Change
No doubt we love the cushy place of what’s familiar, predictable. Change is inevitable, and the strongest among us accept and often embrace what’s new, even or especially if it’s uncomfortable. As it’s been said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Be brave, be bold enough to do something noble. You’ll inherently build confidence alongside acceptance, and who knows, maybe have a bit of fun.
OK, I’m just adding this in as a bonus. We ALL love a good laugh, a face cramping story, a great cartoon. Is there any better way to keep perspective, lighten up, practice that potent understanding, “This too shall pass”? Personally, I have The Complete Far Side. Good medicine, great practice.