We put so much time and effort into attracting a mate – subscribing to strict dating philosophies, spending countless hours at the gym perfecting our bodies, and second-guessing every interaction on a first date. Ironically, the moment someone decides that you’re “the one” is usually much more simple than all that. He may light up from your smile, or she may fall helpless at your natural scent. Love is a silly thing, and it is not up to us to judge what causes somebody to fall.
Here are seven often overlooked weapons we each have at our disposal:
It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, as long as it is all your own. Whether you love scuba diving, horseback riding, gardening, or painting murals, having a passion project is incredibly attractive. When your romantic prospect sees you come alive, they are getting a glimpse of your best and most authentic self. It will be hard for them not to fall head over heels.
Your naughty side.
Girls love a bad boy, and boys can’t resist a bad girl either. Some boys love bad boys and some girls love bad girls – but I’m getting away from myself. Don’t go all Sandra D and let go of who you really are. Certainly don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. The thought of you living on the edge, however – whether your edge involves skinny dipping or doing a shot of tequila – can be very exhilarating.
Your political opinions.
Being educated enough to have a viewpoint on current political issues is hot. Caring deeply enough to defend your stance with enthusiasm? Even hotter. Don’t worry if you and your potential partner disagree. Let your debate become heated. That’s kind of the point.
I’m not necessarily suggesting that you play hard to get – I am recommending that you actually be hard to get. Know your worth. Don’t settle for mediocrity, and don’t respond if your partner is not treating you with the appropriate value. Take your time, and don’t rush into anything serious right away.
There is a ton of science supporting the notion that a killer scent can make you a knockout. This effect can take hold without your partner ever even knowing what hit him. Spritzing on a perfume you love can make you feel more confident and attractive, and put you in the mood for romance. It also helps in forming, and later recalling, pleasant memories. This works for men as well as women. Many of us are powerless against a whiff of well-chosen aftershave.
This one should be obvious, but it often goes forgotten. A kind heart as at the top of most everyone’s list when it comes to the perfect partner. Be kind not only to the person you are trying to impress, but to everyone you meet – the waitress, the taxi driver, and even the homeless man you walk by. Leave everyone’s heart happier than you found it, and you just might win hers.
Mother Teresa once said “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” I’ll bet you never thought you would be taking dating advice from Mother Teresa, and yet here we are. A smile lights up your face and, like your passions, gives your partner a glimpse of your truest and most attractive self. Because one smile often leads to another, it will prime your love interest for happiness, too. This is exactly what you want.
“That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste,” John Green wrote this in his popular novel